My mom called me last week and said that she had gotten a Christmas present from my dad. She said that she heard a poem on the radio, and she believes that Daddy sent it for her. I agree.
Today, in my complete insanity, before we could open presents, I made the girls help me unpack some of the boxes in the dining room so I could find my good glasses to use for Christmas dinner. We didn't need them at Thanksgiving because we weren't at home, but I really wanted them for Christmas. We didn't have them last year either, and I was tired of waiting. So I came across a smaller box that was packed inside a big dish box. I knew it wasn't my holiday glassware, but I wanted to see what was in the smaller box.
Inside the box was a note from my dad. It was a list of things that were in the box (things that came from his mom's house), and a note at the bottom to me. I remember Daddy giving me the box and telling me what was inside, but I don't think I'd opened it before. I started crying because I'd gotten a Christmas gift from Daddy, too, and I was just insane enough to actually be opening it on Christmas morning.
I miss you, Daddy.
Merry Christmas!
25 December, 2007
23 December, 2007
A very emotional day
I expected that last Christmas would be the last Christmas with my dad on this side of heaven, and so I knew this Christmas season would be tough, even as far back as last Christmas season. But today was really tough.
My oldest was singing in the youth choir today at the Methodist church for both the 8:30 and the 11:00 service. So we all went to the early service, and then stayed for Sunday School and the 11:00 service, too. We sang "Hark the Herald Angels" today, and the alto part is too high, but I can't sing tenor on the hymns anymore because I think of Daddy and I start to cry. We also sang "Once in Royal David's City," which also made me think about Daddy, so that was difficult to sing also.
I went to Sunday school and enjoyed it. Pastor Carlos talked to us about Christmas traditions in Mexico, and I learned a lot about Mexico and the Spanish language. We also discussed the origins of various traditions. I like Carlos.
Then I went to the second service, which is pretty much the same service as the first service, except that there is a baby dedication in the 11:00 service. I didn't think much about it before time, but at the beginning of the dedication service, I realized that I hadn't seen a baby dedication in years. I usually go to the early service, and baby dedications seem to happen in the later services. As I listened to the parents promise to avoid sin, follow Jesus at all costs, to raise their child for the Lord, it hit me really hard that at one time Darin had promised all of those things,too. It made me really sad. Every time they said "I do" or "I will", it felt like another knife in my heart. The baby's grandfather was a minister, so after the vows had been said, the pastor let the grandfather pray the prayer and do the baptism. The grandfather's prayer just broke my heart because it reminded me so much of my dad, and how happy he was with his four granddaughters.
I've been a wreck all afternoon. I just want to be left alone, and I can't explain to the girls what is going on in my head and in my heart.
My oldest was singing in the youth choir today at the Methodist church for both the 8:30 and the 11:00 service. So we all went to the early service, and then stayed for Sunday School and the 11:00 service, too. We sang "Hark the Herald Angels" today, and the alto part is too high, but I can't sing tenor on the hymns anymore because I think of Daddy and I start to cry. We also sang "Once in Royal David's City," which also made me think about Daddy, so that was difficult to sing also.
I went to Sunday school and enjoyed it. Pastor Carlos talked to us about Christmas traditions in Mexico, and I learned a lot about Mexico and the Spanish language. We also discussed the origins of various traditions. I like Carlos.
Then I went to the second service, which is pretty much the same service as the first service, except that there is a baby dedication in the 11:00 service. I didn't think much about it before time, but at the beginning of the dedication service, I realized that I hadn't seen a baby dedication in years. I usually go to the early service, and baby dedications seem to happen in the later services. As I listened to the parents promise to avoid sin, follow Jesus at all costs, to raise their child for the Lord, it hit me really hard that at one time Darin had promised all of those things,too. It made me really sad. Every time they said "I do" or "I will", it felt like another knife in my heart. The baby's grandfather was a minister, so after the vows had been said, the pastor let the grandfather pray the prayer and do the baptism. The grandfather's prayer just broke my heart because it reminded me so much of my dad, and how happy he was with his four granddaughters.
I've been a wreck all afternoon. I just want to be left alone, and I can't explain to the girls what is going on in my head and in my heart.
11 December, 2007
Limbo
I finished all my grading for the Belmont courses. It's a relief to be finished, but I still don't know if I'm teaching next semester or not. It would be nice to teach another semester now that I have this semester under my belt, but it would also be nice to have a break. I have several people now I'm trying to convince that they should be my new clients. I'd really like to do a mailing, too, to drum up more business for my courses. Plus, I have some catching up to do for grading for the girls, and I would love to have more time to scrapbook (I still have a couple of pictures to paste in my Japan book).
On the other hand, I'm getting a lot of French done on the long commutes to Belmont. I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of sentence structure and basic verb forms. It's funny, though, what they've taught me and what they haven't. For example, I know the words for January, February, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, but not the other months or the other days of the week. And we've learned the names for France, Belgium, Italy, England, and Canada. And I know how to ask about the time and the weather, but they keep making me practice asking about the weather in Canada or in England in January or February --- "Il faisait très froid au Canada en janvier et en février." And I can order coffee, beer, or wine, but I don't drink any of those, though I can order milk because they taught me that (I might need milk in my coffee). But, realistically, I do know that Diet Coke is "Coca-Cola Lite" in France, so I suppose I don't need to know anything else to drink. I've been renting French movies, and I'm really enjoying listening to the French. Maybe I'll learn the other months and some good things to eat that way.
So I haven't been doing a lot of reading, and I'm not working on scrapbooks, and now, possibly, no more long commutes to learn French. I guess I'm feeling a little bit lost tonight. I should probably review some algebra for the girls tonight, but I think I'll read Dumas instead.
ttfn
On the other hand, I'm getting a lot of French done on the long commutes to Belmont. I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of sentence structure and basic verb forms. It's funny, though, what they've taught me and what they haven't. For example, I know the words for January, February, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, but not the other months or the other days of the week. And we've learned the names for France, Belgium, Italy, England, and Canada. And I know how to ask about the time and the weather, but they keep making me practice asking about the weather in Canada or in England in January or February --- "Il faisait très froid au Canada en janvier et en février." And I can order coffee, beer, or wine, but I don't drink any of those, though I can order milk because they taught me that (I might need milk in my coffee). But, realistically, I do know that Diet Coke is "Coca-Cola Lite" in France, so I suppose I don't need to know anything else to drink. I've been renting French movies, and I'm really enjoying listening to the French. Maybe I'll learn the other months and some good things to eat that way.
So I haven't been doing a lot of reading, and I'm not working on scrapbooks, and now, possibly, no more long commutes to learn French. I guess I'm feeling a little bit lost tonight. I should probably review some algebra for the girls tonight, but I think I'll read Dumas instead.
ttfn
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