The tree at the Christmas Market at Place de Paris
27 December, 2005
07 December, 2005
Friendliness and Politeness
The Luxembourgish people, for the most part, are not very friendly to foreigners and tourists. Fortunately for the foreigners and tourists, the natives are a minority in this city. Which explains in good part why they don't like foreigners.
On the other hand, the foreigners here -- the Italians, French, German, and British that I've met -- are very friendly. (I have run into only 1 French person who is openly hostile to Americans, and he's someone I've known for years, a fellow statistician.) Many of the people in Kehlen are foreign, but one of our new neighbors is Luxembourgish, and I've been warned already that they won't like us, and they won't speak to us. You just have to accept that some people will not like you no matter what and go on with your life, and then be really thankful for all the really very friendly people that are here, even if they aren't natives.
One of the meanest natives I've met is the woman at the bank that was supposed to help me open my account. But fortunately for me, she's retired now, so now I can go to the bank and speak to someone who was nice instead.
In my experience, it is the older people who are the rudest, though sometimes you also find a rude teenager. (But teenagers tend to be rude the world over, I believe.) I'm not sure if they feel they are entitled to do as the please because they are old, or perhaps it is their hostility to the foreigners who are taking over the country. I'm not sure. I believe in being nice to the elderly, but some of them try my resolve to be nice.
Waiting in line is a good example. There are people who think nothing about cutting into a line, or even pushing to get to be the next person in line. And when the person who is pushing is a little old lady, you don't want to push back, and so they have the advantage. I think what irritates me the most is that if they would ask, I would let them go first. This would be especially true if they have only one thing to purchase or if they are older than me. But to have them push their way to the front is simply rude. If I try to discuss the situation, they won't answer, no matter if I try English, French, or German.
Yesterday evening was a good example. My youngest daughter and I were Christmas shopping at a store called Blokker, and she found something to buy as a gift. We got in the line at the only register open. There was one man who was in the process of paying and then a lady, and then us. My daughter says her shoe is broken, and when I bend down to look, an old lady squeezes in ahead of me. When I stand up, she is standing way too close to me, and seriously invading my personal space, but I'm not moving because I was in line.
There is some trouble with the computer for the register, but eventually the person finishes paying, and when he leaves, the rude old lady gets makes sure that she is right behind the other lady, and we are completely cut off.
Then the register seriously stops working, and the girl is calling for help, but help doesn't come and doesn't come. She leaves and brings someone back with her. By this time, there are at least 12 people in line, maybe closer to 15. The manager works on the register for a little bit, and then hands her a card and a key. She goes to the other side of the store to the other register, and people are shoving and pushing to get in the new line. There was no way that I could have been close to the beginning of the new line because we started out so far away from the other register. I would have left except that my daughter really wanted what we had picked out. The really rude lady who had cut the line in front of me is now trying to force her way into the new line. The other lady who had been waiting the very longest leaves her purchase on the counter and leaves the store. I'm watching, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be at the end of the new line, and I really want to give up and leave the store. I tell the manager that I hate the way the lines are in Luxembourg and that I should be at the front of the new line because I have been waiting the longest of anyone. He says to me that he understands because it also happens to him when he is shopping, and he will try to help. He says that in France they understand lines and respect lines, but in Luxembourg, the people are very rude.
He says if I pay cash, he can get me through, he thinks. So he scans our things, I pay, but the receipt won't print. I tell him that we don't need a receipt (we won't need to return this item). As we leave the store, people are now pushing to be in line at his register, but he has the top of the machine open and he's trying to fix the printing part.
The man has a point -- the French might not like Americans, but they do seem to respect a line when they see it. Germans are also very polite. I really don't understand where the lack of politeness and friendliness comes from in Luxembourg.
On the other hand, the foreigners here -- the Italians, French, German, and British that I've met -- are very friendly. (I have run into only 1 French person who is openly hostile to Americans, and he's someone I've known for years, a fellow statistician.) Many of the people in Kehlen are foreign, but one of our new neighbors is Luxembourgish, and I've been warned already that they won't like us, and they won't speak to us. You just have to accept that some people will not like you no matter what and go on with your life, and then be really thankful for all the really very friendly people that are here, even if they aren't natives.
One of the meanest natives I've met is the woman at the bank that was supposed to help me open my account. But fortunately for me, she's retired now, so now I can go to the bank and speak to someone who was nice instead.
In my experience, it is the older people who are the rudest, though sometimes you also find a rude teenager. (But teenagers tend to be rude the world over, I believe.) I'm not sure if they feel they are entitled to do as the please because they are old, or perhaps it is their hostility to the foreigners who are taking over the country. I'm not sure. I believe in being nice to the elderly, but some of them try my resolve to be nice.
Waiting in line is a good example. There are people who think nothing about cutting into a line, or even pushing to get to be the next person in line. And when the person who is pushing is a little old lady, you don't want to push back, and so they have the advantage. I think what irritates me the most is that if they would ask, I would let them go first. This would be especially true if they have only one thing to purchase or if they are older than me. But to have them push their way to the front is simply rude. If I try to discuss the situation, they won't answer, no matter if I try English, French, or German.
Yesterday evening was a good example. My youngest daughter and I were Christmas shopping at a store called Blokker, and she found something to buy as a gift. We got in the line at the only register open. There was one man who was in the process of paying and then a lady, and then us. My daughter says her shoe is broken, and when I bend down to look, an old lady squeezes in ahead of me. When I stand up, she is standing way too close to me, and seriously invading my personal space, but I'm not moving because I was in line.
There is some trouble with the computer for the register, but eventually the person finishes paying, and when he leaves, the rude old lady gets makes sure that she is right behind the other lady, and we are completely cut off.
Then the register seriously stops working, and the girl is calling for help, but help doesn't come and doesn't come. She leaves and brings someone back with her. By this time, there are at least 12 people in line, maybe closer to 15. The manager works on the register for a little bit, and then hands her a card and a key. She goes to the other side of the store to the other register, and people are shoving and pushing to get in the new line. There was no way that I could have been close to the beginning of the new line because we started out so far away from the other register. I would have left except that my daughter really wanted what we had picked out. The really rude lady who had cut the line in front of me is now trying to force her way into the new line. The other lady who had been waiting the very longest leaves her purchase on the counter and leaves the store. I'm watching, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be at the end of the new line, and I really want to give up and leave the store. I tell the manager that I hate the way the lines are in Luxembourg and that I should be at the front of the new line because I have been waiting the longest of anyone. He says to me that he understands because it also happens to him when he is shopping, and he will try to help. He says that in France they understand lines and respect lines, but in Luxembourg, the people are very rude.
He says if I pay cash, he can get me through, he thinks. So he scans our things, I pay, but the receipt won't print. I tell him that we don't need a receipt (we won't need to return this item). As we leave the store, people are now pushing to be in line at his register, but he has the top of the machine open and he's trying to fix the printing part.
The man has a point -- the French might not like Americans, but they do seem to respect a line when they see it. Germans are also very polite. I really don't understand where the lack of politeness and friendliness comes from in Luxembourg.
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